Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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