Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
