dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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