Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
