I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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