Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
