My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
