That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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