My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
