Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
