So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize