Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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