Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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