Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
