How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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