If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
