Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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