Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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