just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
