so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
