i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
