Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize