dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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