Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
