so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
