My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize