So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
