Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
