So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
