Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
