So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
