At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
