my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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