he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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