Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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