Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am one with the molecules
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize