Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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