bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
