the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
