i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize