omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize