someone get that fucking seahorse.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
