Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize