great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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