Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just want nice things and good sex
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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