If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So many bounce houses so little time
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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