I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize