do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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