Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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