Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
