and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
