The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
