What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
