i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
