Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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