i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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