I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
