watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
