In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
