We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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