so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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