well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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