Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
