Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize