Swine flu. Run for my life!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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