Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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