fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
