How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
