I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
