i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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