you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
did i walk over a car last night?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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