Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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