last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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