I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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